Chic Cyprus is now being marketed to chic people and luxury is what's on offer.

Let's start with the Thalassa Hotel at Coral Bay in Paphos, which offers some of the best massages going.

Being a man was obviously a slight disadvantage. We guys only got our backs done, not the full works as the women did.

Georgie, my nice masseur, was a former dancer from north London. I was taken aback when she instructed me to put on a G-string for the treatment. I'd never worn one before. It snapped when I put it on.

I then lay face down with a towel draped over my mid section while she worked her her way over my back and legs. All very relaxing. I felt remarkably clean and healthy afterwards.

For the girls, it was more fun. They got to enjoy a yummy moisturising treatment with gentle exfoliation, before being wrapped in a sheet and towels, while the therapist gave an Indian head massage. Perfectly soothing.

The Thalassa Hotel had only 58 rooms but it more than made up for space what it lacked in number. I was surprised to be given two keys when checking in. These were for the two doors to my room, which was divided into a living room and bedroom. There were good scenic views from the balcony and two tellys. Fab.

Next door to the Thalassa was the much larger Coral Beach Hotel. It had 421 rooms, conference facilities and a nice bar with entertainment each evening. Try and catch musical double act Radi and Michael who perform there every Tuesday night.

Radi was a foxy blonde, who handled most of the singing duties and got audience members to participate. Michael looked like death warmed upand appeared to be playing the keyboard with a mechanical arm. Their cheesy covers were a pleasure to listen and dance to.

The food in the restaurant was wonderful - try not to miss the veal tenderloin. It was sublime.

Around 60% of the patrons at the Thalassa and Coral Beach hotels came from the UK, with the remainder made up of Germans, Dutch, Russians and locals.

The village of Omodos, with the Church of the Holy Cross in the Troodos mountains, was a truly fascinating place to visit. You felt as if you'd been time warped back decades to a World War II movie.

Old ladies with moustaches clad in black sat on chairs in the searing sunshine, sewing lace patterns; a grey haired, bearded priest in ecclesiastical garb that fell to his feet looked on beneficently at the good village folk; old men who appeared to be aged about 100 - and had no teeth - sat contentedly outside the cafe in the village square doing, well, nothing at all, frankly.

Custom dictated that women were not allowed in the cafe, as for years it was where the men conducted the village business while the female folk stayed at home and looked after the kids.

A nice gentleman in the village has converted his home into a museum of his life. It's called Socrates. He took me on a tour of his abode - rustic, antique but full of character - a glorious shrine to a bygone era. If you're lucky, he'll pour you a small glass of the Cypriot delicacy Commandaria - a tasty, sweet wine.

In the Pollis and Latchi area, you could sample a traditional fish meze at Petros and Yiangos tavern by the sea. I'd never tasted such delicious seafood before. It was quite wondrous - swordfish, squid, octopus and countless other examples of marine cuisine, all utterly mouthwatering.

In Limassol, the trendy hotel to stay in was the Londa. It was beautifully designed with a lovely bar and romantic lighting. One could spend whole evenings simply having drinks on the white sofas. The large dining area was very attractive, the food splendid and there was a good pool if you wanted to take a swim.

Young urban professionals stay in the Londa, whereas in Paphos, the clientele were older.

On the strip outside the Londa Hotel were numerous clubs but these didn't fill up until about 3am. I ended up going to a little karaoke bar called The Nags Head. It was chock full of a jolly group from Sheffield. I ended up getting drunk and giving a tone deaf rendition of With A Little Help From My Friends. No, don't thank me, it was a pleasure.

* Between May 21-July 20, B&B prices at the Thalassa Hotel, Coral Bay for a double, sea view room, start from around £176 per room per night, based on two sharing. B&B prices for a double room in the Londa Hotel, Limassol, start from £170 per night in the summer.

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